As the presidential election was coming things really seemed to be coming to light for me. I just kept thinking, is this real? Is Donald Trump really going to run for president? As things progressed it seemed to get worse and I began to seriously wonder if I was in some kind of “Twilight Zone”. It just seemed as though it wasn’t real. How could the people of this country, and world for that matter, go along with this ridiculousness? I’m still blown away if I catch a bit of the news about the current president.
One of the things that was and has always been super hard for me is to accept just about anything that doesn’t have some type of scientific evidence to support it. I have never been one to believe in superstitions or really even “angels” or things of that sort. I wanted cold, hard proof that something existed before I could believe in it. There were some exceptions, I did halfheartedly believe in ghosts. I have thought that the moon cycles do tend to have some impact on people’s behavior but not much more than that.
As far back as I can remember I was drinking soda and eating junk food. I was never a water drinker and just didn’t really care what I was eating. I am one of those people who can eat all the time and anything I want and not gain weight. This is something I still deal with today as it seemed to have gotten worse as of lately. It may sound stupid to some but it’s always been a struggle. I mean it was not at all easy to find jeans that were anywhere near long enough with such a tiny waist. My daughter was also very small and she was lucky enough to have not inherited my height but she had started eating better and was encouraging me to do the same.
I lost my father 15 years earlier in June. At that time I never thought anything would be harder until my daughter passed on at age 27. Losing a child like that is something that you can never explain to others. The pain that is so deep that it completely rocks your every molecule and hurts so bad that you feel as though you yourself have died and for me, maybe that is what happened. It was what changed me forever. It is that indescribable love that opened me up to feel things that I never felt before. That horrific event is what provoked me to return to my search for truth in life and to examine things that I had started to years earlier.
One of the earliest things I did on my journey after my daughter had passed was to download and listen to binaural beats while I was sleeping. The concentration at that point was to open the 3rd eye/pineal gland. There were two different audios that were used nightly for approximately 5 months before anything seemed to really start “happening” in that arena. According to instructions, headphones should be used when listening to binaurals, since the whole concept is to activate and use both hemispheres of the brain. I did not use headphones while sleeping although at times during the day occasionally I would.
This song really hit home for me
As a gift I received a book from my daughter that would really have a huge impact on me. My depression was in full force. It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed each day. I was at a point where I was rarely leaving the house anymore. I had some health issues to go along with it but was in major denial, which was a normal thing for me by this time. The book was exactly what I needed.
My daughter had asked me to watch this movie. She had viewed it and was intrigued with the ideas contained therein. My daughter at that time I believe was just really starting her own spiritual journey. The first time I watched the movie I really took it with a grain a salt. Some of it seemed reasonable and other parts not so much. Either way it was interesting and it began to open my mind up to new ideas.