Life shattered

I lost my father 15 years earlier in June. At that time I never thought anything would be harder until my daughter passed on at age 27. Losing a child like that is something that you can never explain to others. The pain that is so deep that it completely rocks your every molecule and hurts so bad that you feel as though you yourself have died and for me, maybe that is what happened. It was what changed me forever. It is that indescribable love that opened me up to feel things that I never felt before. That horrific event is what provoked me to return to my search for truth in life and to examine things that I had started to years earlier.

I had a conversation with my daughter at one time about death. We had talked about how if I died first, which of course was how I thought it would go, I would do every single thing that I could to try to communicate with her and she agreed that she would do the same. We had even talked about things we could bring up to the other one so that we’d know it was “real” and not some fake reading or person if that’s what we needed to do. I had told her of an awful nickname that my brother used to call me as a kid that no one knew about, not even my husband. She also mentioned aloe vera juice and how it will cure a urinary infection. That conversation ended up being key.

This is how my quest became my priority. I promised her that we would find a way to do this. I  had an old co-worker whom contacted me shortly after my daughter passed with “messages” from her, mostly through music. One of the things that this coworker told me through online media was that she was saying to him that awful nickname and she was crying when she said it. I was totally floored. I knew that this was for real, this was really her coming through. The coworker also brought up the aloe vera juice for UTI’s, so another confirmation. This went on for quite awhile, months actually. The problem now was that I wanted to learn how to communicate with her without someone else’s help.

I started reading up on channeling, communicating with the passed over souls which eventually led me to the third eye opening. It seemed as though everything was telling me that if you open the third eye, you see all. I was listening to the binaurals nightly and started reading as many articles as I could find on this topic. I was so determined to hear her, see her, feel her, anything… anything at all that would bring us back together.  There had to be a way for me to do this and I would not stop trying. I was going to keep that promise I made to her.

My nephew was the last person in my family to see my daughter before the accident. He sent me three books to read in order to try to help me on my quest for communication. The books are by Robert Monroe, Out of Body experience books called Journeys out of the Body, Ultimate Journey, and Far Journeys. They weren’t exactly easy reading especially if you had not had an out of body experience, which I had not. To be honest, in the last book I felt as though it was left somewhat open ended. I tried so hard to have these OOBE’s (out of body experiences) but it just wasn’t happening. I could feel vibrations in my body and at times it felt like the top of my head was tingling but I was either falling asleep before it was happening or I just wasn’t remembering it.

One thing that did intrigue me though was the mention of the how this author, Robert Monroe, had started an institute for the purpose of studying this. He had controlled rooms with monitors and recorders to keep evidence of what was happening when people would have these experiences. It was encouraging to read that they actually used binaural beats in order to help people have the OOBE’s. That got me looking into YouTube for binaurals for that purpose, which I was also listening to but again, to no avail, at least not with any memory. My journey continued.


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